Help for Ex-Con

Dear Safety Solutions:  A relative of mine will be getting out of jail soon, after many years incarceration for sexual assault, and I want to know how to deal with him and help him stay out of trouble.

Nervous, large city, USA

Dear Nervous:  It's commendable that you're planning ahead and trying to help your relative.  He, and all the women he comes in contact with, should be very grateful.  The first thing I suggest is that you contact the Fortune Society  (http://www.fortunesociety.org), which is a non-profit, community-based organization staffed primarily by ex-prisoners.  They're   dedicated to educating the public about prisons, criminal justice issues, and the root causes of crime.  They offer a  wide range of services, including counseling, substance abuse counseling, career development, acupuncture for stress, health services and education, to help ex-prisoners break the cycle of crime and incarceration and will provide you with a wealth of information,  especially via their website, on how to offer support and ensure your safety.

If there's no office of the Fortune Society where you live, contact a women's organization like N.O.W. for a referral to a local counselor or program specializing in sex offenders -- something I would urge you to suggest to him.  I found four programs listed in my local directory and several online.

 He's going to have to learn how to manage stress and anger, so suggest he pursue a practice like meditation and some kind of religious involvement  for spiritual comfort.  If his counselors approve, a lot of churches and civic organization have programs where you can help those less fortunate.  These programs build self esteem and self worth, and can point a person in a positive direction.  Food banks, clothing drives, AIDS organizations, substance abuse counseling (if he has overcome addictions of his own) might be constructive and life affirming for him.   He should never work with young girls or women in this capacity, however.  Good luck to both of you.

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