Inside each and every one of us there is a place of strength, power and determination, an inner warrior if you will, where the impossible becomes possible.  I call this place

What follows are inspiring thoughts and true stories of successes on many levels.  I hope they help you get in touch with your inner warrior and perhaps move you to send in your own warrior stories so others can be encouraged too.  (See Warriors Wanted! page). 

 

A Word To Crime Survivors.  Sometimes nothing can be done to prevent the outcome of a situation and submitting, with or without resistance, is a valid option for any type of crime.  There are no right or wrongs — whatever you did to escape alive was the correct response.  It's common for crime survivors to feel guilt or shame about what happened, but with the proper professional help, you can learn to put it into perspective and get on with your life.  To get the most beneficial help, contact a local Rape or Domestic Violence hotline or women's organization for a referral to a counselor or program that deals specifically with crime survivors.  There are some resources listed on this website that might also prove helpful.

"The Warrior spirit is the spirit of courage, skill, alertness … the spirit that finds joy in the battles of life.  And it is also the stance of saying 'No!' to the voice that rises within and tells us that we are too weak, too old, too stupid.  It is the relentless willingness to pick ourselves up when we are knocked down, to persevere in the face of whatever obstacles arise, to simply go on …." (The Way of the Warrior,"  S. Durgananda, Darshan Magazine, 1989)

The determination not to be raped, and the willingness to do anything necessary to stop a rape, can be even more important than years of martial arts training.  Every one of us has heard or read stories about people who had little or no specific training, yet successfully deterred an attacker.  The following is a great example:

"Would-be rapist…," Michelle McPhee  (New York Daily News, 9/14/98)

"A 30-year old Manhattan woman ignored a gun and punches in the face yesterday as she fought off a man who fits the description of the elusive East Side rapist.

'He would have killed me,' she said.  'I had nothing left to lose.'  …The woman said the attack occurred after she returned to her E. 75^th St. apartment building about 3 a.m. Sunday.  She was walking up the stairs to her fifth-floor apartment when she felt someone behind her.  She turned around and saw a man with a gun coming up the stairs.  The man chased her to the third floor, where he pushed her down and tried to rape her.

'He pointed a gun at my head.  He would have raped me.' … The victim said she stopped struggling momentarily and the gunman stuck his weapon in the back of his pants.  That's when she saw a chance to fight back. … The woman said she was afraid yelling for help would anger her attacker, but she saw it as her only defense.  'I was screaming, horribly, horribly … He bashed me in the head with his fist. … I managed to scare him off, and I wasn't raped.' "

A woman in extraordinary who circumstances found her fighting heart:

She fights, ducks, flees:  U.S. hostage in Yemen, Virginia Breen
 (New York Daily News, 12/31/98)

"Islamic terrorists were using Mary Quin as a human shield during a gun battle with Yemeni troops when she turned on her captor and, with bullets whistling past her head, wrestled his rifle away and ran 'like hell.'

Quin, 45, a Xerox Corp. vice president from Rochester, was one of the lucky survivors when government soldiers moved in Tuesday to rescue 16 tourists from the band of kidnappers.

When the shooting stopped, three British and an Australian tourist were dead, and two others, including a Texas woman, were wounded….'As the soldiers drew nearer, one of the terrorists grabbed me by the back of my shirt and shoved his [rifle] in my back,' Quin said.  'We got a short distance across this field when his grip went limp and I heard him groan.  He'd been shot.

I made a split-second decision, grabbed the barrel of the gun and kicked him in the face.  We had a bit of a struggle, I finally stomped on his head, broke the gun free and ran like hell toward the barricade. I felt like G.I. Joe."

Maya Angelou on courage:  "I think you develop it the same way you cook or develop muscles.  You don't start off with a Beef Wellington.  You start off with a hard boiled egg, then an omelette.  Before you know it, you are doing a frittata."  (Modern Maturity, September/October 2001)

Victim Fought Her Attackers Tooth-and-Nail,  Scott Shifrel,  Leo Standora  (New York Daily News, 6/15/00)

A 29-year old fitness instructor who teaches kick boxing said yesterday that she was jumped by the Central Park wolf pack but fought off her attackers.

They were yelling "Go, go, go," said Anne Peyton Bryant, who was attacked while rollerblading…They were pulling my pants down from the front and the back.  I had to hold on to them to keep them up...But the gutsy Manhattanite put up a furious fight.  "I was kicking with the skates still on my feet and I know I hurt somebody," she said.  "I'm 5-foot-2, but I'm not weak."  Bryant said her attackers—who she believes were teenagers—also tried to tear off her sports bra, but she used her backpack as a shield to fend them off.

"I was knocked down, and I was on my back being dragged across the pavement," she recalled.  Bryant said she escaped being stripped naked because she screamed for help and resisted with all her might.

True fear is not voluntary.  It will come and get your attention when needed.  …True fear is a survival signal that sounds in the presence of danger, a gift that protects us, but unwarranted fear has assumed a power over us that it holds over no other creature on Earth.  It need not be so.  (from "Conquering What Scares Us," Gavin de Becker, USA Weekend, Aug. 22-24, 1997)

Sometimes your brain is your best weapon: 

Quick Thinking by Victim Foils Kidnappers in Tempe  (The Arizona Republic, 9/27/99)

Nineteen-year old Rachel Diterich said she used quick thinking to foil two would-be kidnappers early Sunday morning. 

She told police that two men armed with a knife forced the Tempe resident out of her car and into theirs in the parking lot of [her condominium community] at 4:25am.  As they started to drive away, Diterich told them she had a large stash of cash in her apartment.  They stopped the car and followed her to her apartment, the knife at her back.  Once inside, she confessed there was not money, but said they could leave with her property.  The suspects fled with her VCR, CD player and jewelry.

Safety Solutions Comment:  Kidnappings and carjackings are very dangerous crimes that almost always result in death.  Many experts advise never to allow yourself to be put in a car and taken somewhere, recommending all out resistance (at any cost) rather than complying.  This woman successfully used a verbal tactic called "Fast-Talk Bargaining Strategy" to stall for time until she could come up with a plan.  She took a dangerous gamble taking them up to her apartment, however.  See "Talking Your Way Out of a Rape"  about using verbal strategies when you are trapped.

Abducted Teen Calmly Helps End Standoff (Newsday, 04/13/01)

Rollins, MT — A man accused of abducting a 17 year-old girl from a Nebraska mall last week surrendered at a lakeside cabin yesterday after the teenager calmly helped police end a 10-hour standoff.

Anne Sluti, an honor student from Kearney, Neb., had a black eye but appeared otherwise unharmed. … "We have a miracle that happened," Sluti's father, Don, said by telephone from Kearney.  He said he was able to talk with his daughter during the overnight negotiations…

Anthony Zappa, 29, allegedly grabbed the girl from a mall parking lot in her hometown last Friday and took her 900 miles to this small resort town on Flathead Lake.  He had eluded authorities since February, [wanted] for failing to appear in a Minnesota court on a burglary charge.  Zappa is also wanted on charges that include assault, theft and illegal gun possession in Nebraska, Louisiana, Iowa and Wisconsin. 

A landlord who spotted a car outside the supposedly empty cabin tipped off authorities Wednesday evening.  Negotiators said Sluti was their only contact for hours, acting as a go-between with Zappa, who would not come to the telephone until the very end.  'There's no doubt in my mind the role she played in ending this,' said Undersheriff Mike Sargent, one of the negotiators.  'The way she handled herself when dealing with me was very calm and cool and collected.  …[she] did a remarkable job of helping convince Zappa that the 50 or so officers surrounding the cabin would not harm him if he came out.

   Granny, 81, Thwarts Carjacker  (New York Daily News, 8/25/99)

ELMWOOD PARK, NJ — She's 81 and has six grandchildren, a pacemaker and a will of iron. Josephine Brancaccio refused to give up her 1993 Nissan Sentra in the Bergen County carjacking and a suspect is in jail as a result.  The incident began about 2:00 p.m. Sunday in Elmwood Park.  While Brancaccio was stopped at a stop sign in an industrial area, a carjacker reached in through the open driver's window and grabbed the wheel and Brancaccio, police said.  But the grandmother stepped on the accelerator, and the car rolled across the street.

A passing driver, Alejandro Hernandez, was forced to stop short by the rolling Sentra.  He realized something was wrong and followed.  The Sentra traveled several hundred yards before hitting a curb and stopping near the Marcal paper mill.  Hernandez got out of his vehicle and tried to pull the assailant off of Brancaccio.  He soon had help from two Marcal truck drivers, who subdued the attacker..."She was always tough.  She wouldn't let anything get past her," said grandson Michael Fornelius, 22. 

Safety Solutions Comment:  With two hands on Ms. Brancaccio's steering wheel (and hanging on for dear life), the would-be carjacker could not hit her or pull out a weapon.  Everything turned out ok because there were a number of people around willing to help, and it's also possible the carjacker would have fallen off the car or been struck by some object if he continued to hang on.  I think Granny made a good call.  As for her savior, Mr. Hernandez, in general, the safest way to help someone is to phone for the police, blow on the horn or make a lot of noise to attract attention to what is going on, and keep following so the attacker knows his crime has been detected.  In this case, I'm glad he chose to intervene more directly even if that is not always the safest thing to do.

Below are some of my own success stories (excerpts from my new book Think Fast and Prevent a Violent Crime:  How to Respond to Danger in 20 Seconds (or Less!).  Check out www.fightsafe.com for information:

 

Hitchhiking in Southhampton: This incident occurred many years ago, before I had any self defense or martial arts training.  A girlfriend and I were hitchhiking in a rural Long Island area, about 110 miles outside of New York City, [yes, I know it was stupid and dangerous but we were 19 and you know how that is] … anyway, we were hitchhiking to a local club out there and three guys in a car stopped to pick us up.

 

 It was pretty isolated where we were and not many cars were passing by so even though we were not crazy about so many guys in the car they seemed friendly enough and we decided to get in.  This was back when they had those big gas guzzling cars with no bucket seats so all the guys were in the front.  My friend and I got into the back, with me behind the driver. 

 

All of a sudden my friend, who lived in the area, started whispering to me that they had turned off the main road and were heading into the woods.  We both knew this was not good.  So, without really thinking much about it, I grabbed the driver by the back of his shirt and twisted his collar until he started to choke — all the while yelling that he better get back on the main road and let us out or I was going to choke him to death.  There he was, sputtering, frantically trying to grab at my hands and still keep control of the car, coughing and gagging.  The other guys did not dare try anything because a fight could cause an accident. 

The driver did take us back to the main road and as we got out of the car and turned to go, one of the guys called out "Hey, no hard feelings, ok.  How about we buy you a drink?"  [Wasn't that nice — as long as they couldn't rape us how about some liquor!"]

 

 

Followed into Dark Parking Lot:  One night about 11PM, I had just finished a late teaching job in midtown New York City and was getting ready to walk to my car.  I had parked in a lot way over in the west part of midtown Manhattan because it was inexpensive and I didn't think the job would run as late but it did.  That part of town becomes very isolated after about 10PM and was frequented by drug dealers and prostitutes. 

 

I made a plan to walk along a certain route past a large post office where night shift workers would just be getting off from work.  I figured I could walk along with the crowd of workers far enough so it would just be a short walk on my own to the lot.  I was a little too late and It turned out to be a long walk to the lot on dark, isolated streets.  [I probably should have gone to the police station four blocks away and tried to get an officer to take me to my car, but I was very tired and just wanted to get home.  Not the safest choice.]

 

At some point while I was walking, a car with 4 men in it started to follow me.  I think they initially thought I was a prostitute (guess my business suit gave me away!) because they tried to solicit sex with me.  Since I was only a block away from my car by now, I decided that I would ignore them, slow down until they got far in front of me then turn off quickly into the lot (which was a park-and-lock so there was no attendant and only one other car there) and try to get to my car.  This worked pretty good at first. I ducked into the lot, walked over to my car and was opening it when I saw their car backing down the street and pulling backwards into the lot.  They pulled in front of my car perpendicularly (think of the letter "T") — blocking it and trapping me. 

 

To this day I remember my thoughts as clearly as if it were yesterday.  I was very calm and very methodically running through my options.  I thought maybe I could try to run — but there was nothing open anywhere nearby to run to for help; plus I was not really a fast runner

 — or —

 

I could jump into my car yelling loudly, honking on the horn and making noise — but I didn't think there was anyone around to hear the noise and offer (or get) help; plus if they still came after me, I would be trapped in the car and not be able to fight.

 

So I just stood my ground and tried to come up with a plan.  I noticed the car was a two-door model.  This meant that I only had the 2 men in the front seat to worry about right away (the two in the back would not be able to get out until the 2 in the front had).  Of the two in the front, the driver was closest to me and therefore my biggest threat.  I just made up my mind that if the driver moved to get out of the car he was a dead man.  The moment I saw his door open and his foot touch the ground, I was going to rush forward, slam the car door on his leg and break it and then go with a "V-blade hand" to his windpipe (his window was open.)  I figured I could get him out of the way by the time the man in the passenger seat reached me.  I was going to try to sidekick his kneecap and disable him, then run like hell, yelling all the way, down the street.  I thought I could accomplish all this by the time the two in the back even got out of the car.  [the courage of the desperate]

I never said a word to the men though they were yelling and cursing at me for what seemed like quite a while.  I fixed my eye dead on the driver, tried to keep breathing and waited for him to make a move.  To this day, I believe he knew (from my body language and facial expression) that that I was prepared to do whatever I had to do to get out of the situation because all of a sudden the car just pulled out of the lot and drove away. 

 

Then I jumped quickly into my car and collapsed.

 

Safety Solutions Comment:  I had been training in martial arts for about five years at the time of this incident.  One of the things I always tell people is that training puts the odds in your favor.  It gives you the ability to think quickly and weigh options under pressure rather than responding in panic and fear.

 

Send me YOUR Success Stories. 

See WARRIORS WANTED! page.

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